Nervousness is a normal reaction to an interview. You should be nervous. It's natural so don't be alarmed by it. Professional speakers and entertainers use nervousness by harnessing the energy from these overactive nerves and focusing them on increased performance and alertness. Nervousness can actually be the catalyst for one of your best performances ever.

If you find yourself overly nervous, go to the restroom and push on the wall hard to transfer the stress to the wall, and refocus your body. Many public speakers swear by this. You can also grab the sides of your seat or push your hands together during the interview to create the same effect. Try also to breathe breathing deeply and slowly if you find yourself becoming anxious.

Remember the interviewer is probably as nervous as you are. Interviewers are ordinary people who face the same personal issues that you do. Imagine the interviewer as your neighbor cutting the grass on Saturday morning or getting groceries at the store.

Try to relax with the interviewer reminding yourself that you are one of the finalists and have already been perceived as qualified for the position. Envision the interview as a cooperative effort and not a solo performance, where you both try to complete the assignment of having an interview.

Another key when you are nervous is to stop focusing on yourself and focus on the interviewer. Remind yourself that the interviewer is the one that will be benefiting from your knowledge and experiences, and that you are simply trying to help the interviewer understand how you can assist them.

Appearance is a major part of creating good "chemistry." Many recruiters claim the image you project may be more important than the technical skill you possess. Remember you only have one chance at making the right first impression.

The goal in choosing an outfit is to dress as though you belong where you are interviewing. However always dress with quality, and be conservative and understated with style. Everyone has his or her own personal preferences when it comes to style and choosing the wrong style can sometimes be disastrous.

Men can't go wrong wearing a top-quality dark suit, an expensive-looking white or pale shirt (no stripes or monograms), and a pure silk tie. Avoid wearing any jewelry except a wedding band. Shoes should be black only and well polished.

Be meticulously groomed. Get a hair cut or trim beforehand to look neat and clean. Always be clean-shaven. If you have a dark shadow in the afternoons, bring a shaver. Groom your fingernails so they are clean and filed.

While women have a broader range of appropriate clothing choices for an interview, they should also try to steer away from anything non-conservative when making that first impression. Fashionable but conservative is usually the most appropriate style. Women should wear dark suits with solids, pinstripes or muted plaids in limited colors, with white or colored blouses that have long sleeves. The material should be a wrinkle free mixture of natural fibers and synthetic. If you must wear a skirt, make sure it is long or no higher than slightly above the knee. Women should always wear hose in neutral or skin tones, and no high heels.

Accents and accessories should also be minimal. Earrings should be studs and not dangling earrings. Hair should be off the face and pulled back. Choose either a brief case or a purse, but not both.

In regards to perfume, it is better to use none to risk having an offensive smell since perfume is very individual.

If you are unsuccessful in scheduling an interview, you might offer to pay your own way since you are confident of being the right fit for the job. In fact some candidates will even offer to work at no charge for 30 days to prove they are the right choice. However the odds are if an employer is unwilling to schedule an interview, or pay a candidate's interviewing expenses then the employer is probably not going to hire the candidate.

Most employers would rather find a local or regional candidate because they are concerned about the ever rising costs of relocating a candidate, and the risk that he or she (or the family) may not like the area. Consequently some employers are reluctant to consider candidates outside the locale or region.

Unless it's the job of the century, you should not offer to pay your way. If the employer is not comfortable enough to pay for your airfare, he or she will probably not be comfortable paying for your relocation.

Perhaps suggest a phone interview to make sure you think the investment is worth it.

It is best not to volunteer this information until after you have had a chance to sell yourself successfully on the interview. If confronted you should not try to hide it or avoid taking responsibility for where you may have gone wrong.

Most employers try to get employees to resign when confronted with a termination. This benefits the employee in seeking new employment and eliminates any potential lawsuits for wrongful termination. Always try to get your employer to agree to your resignation and to put it in writing.

Once resigned you can communicate freely that you left for a number of reasons, such as you were seeking greater opportunity to grow and take on greater challenges.

If you are concerned that the employer may not support your resignation story once you are gone, it may be wise to tell the new employer that you did have a difference of opinion on how the Comco project should be run, or that there was a management change or procedural change resulting in your leaving, or any number of reasons that you think are valid explanations.

If laid off, you should communicate that many individuals have been laid off this year for similar reasons. Perhaps you can say that sales have dropped in your firm and they began laying off. This was beyond your control, and that your position was being duplicated by other personnel with more seniority.

If it was your fault and you did mess up, admit and own up to the error saying that you believe you have learned from your mistake. Never try and blame other people for what happened to you. Demonstrate that you understand where you failed and how you will avoid repeating this again.

You might want to state something similar to the following, "My termination was in fact my fault. I had personal problems at the time, which are now straightened up. But at the time I was frequently late and my supervisor had to cut back. With my poor attendance record he was given a good reason to choose me."

Most companies will agree a good education does not mean a good employee. In fact there is little proof that those with college education achieve any more than those without it.

Those with a college education should have greater communication skills and an initial knowledge base over those without a degree, but this is not always the case. However there are many smart and successful people who have not pursued a college degree for a variety of good reasons (e.g.: no financial resources after high school so you opted to enter the work force, personal responsibilities forced you to work rather than attend school.

You can always say that you are more than willing to pursue a degree if the employer considered it necessary and was willing to finance it. You might however simply ask the employer what exactly the degree would do for you and the company?

Often the best way to handle the issue of not enough experience is to stress the fact that it is often easier to teach someone to do things the right way the first time than to try and reprogram someone who has already developed the wrong habits.

Experience and work skills are often transferable. Even though someone may not have retail management experience, the fact that they have restaurant or customer management experience indicates they are capable of managing the same type of customers, and have developed the same type of skills. Try to present your experience and skills to show how they apply to the new position. Taking a successful salesperson from one industry and training him or her to sell in a different industry is often easier than taking someone with a limited success record with the right product or industry experience, and teaching them to be successful.

Overcome the employer's concern by selling the skills and qualifications that make you a good hire. Stress the importance of having the right attitude, a good education, good people skills, a history of successful performance, and the motivation to learn the new product line.

It's common practice for all employer/candidate relationships to be understood as a relationship based on confidentiality, however there are many incidents where candidates or employers become vulnerable because someone mentions he or she is meeting with so and so this week and can you tell me about them.

Always stress the strict confidential nature of your meeting with the recruiter or employer before the meeting and during the meeting. State that no references are to be checked without your prior approval.

To avoid raising unusual eyebrows at work it might be best to make the interview after work hours, before work, on the weekend, and of course at a safe place like an airport or hotel lobby that would suggest a chance encounter. You might want to take a vacation or sick day if you must take off during the work week. The worst mistake you can make is to come to work in a suit and tie when you normally wear a sports jacket and no tie. Don't look or act suspicious.

Developing chemistry is perhaps one of the most important aspects of getting hired and getting others to like you. Many professional recruitment firms will state that "chemistry" is perhaps the strongest reason why one candidate gets hired over another. The basic principal is that people like people who are like themselves.

Learning to develop good "chemistry" with interviewers is simply learning to develop good people skills. Hiring and promotion decisions are often made on the basis of a candidate's "people skills." Personality can override credentials. Being seen as a person who will fit into the team can gain you entry into a firm and speed your promotion through the ranks. So your career - and the people you work with every day - deserve your best interpersonal skills.

Career advancement requires one to be likeable. Develop a considerate personality. Be diplomatic and equally polite to your colleagues at all levels of employment. Maintain a relaxed and open bearing.

When approaching others, be sensitive to their points of view, their needs, and personal preferences. Find areas of common interest rather than stressing your differences. Accommodate to their level of education and experience, and stretch yourself to put them at ease. Be a good listener; draw people out. A good book on developing relationships is Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People; Pocketbooks, NY.

The concept of mirroring is very effective in building rapport and "likeability." Find similarities and focus on them such as methods of doing work, philosophy on projects, personal hobbies, childhood neighborhoods, etc.. Listen to the interviewer's questions, statements and feelings. People like to be listened to more than they like to listen. You can show "likeability" by summarizing, rephrasing, and playing back what interviewer says. Smiling also communicates you are an agreeable person and everyone likes to work with an agreeable person.

One helpful technique is that of asking open-ended questions rather than yes-or-no questions. "What are your feelings about..." "What's your analysis of..." and "Tell me about..." are more inviting than "Don't you agree that..."

Make a strong effort to remember names. Remembering the names of your colleagues and associates, especially if your contact is brief and occasional reflects your respect. The sweetest sound, it's been said, is the sound of one's name on the lips of another person. To better recall names, repeat the name of a person when you first meet, and use it at least twice more in your initial conversation. Thinking and saying the name while looking at the person helps imprint the name/face relationship. Word association can also help you remember names. If Maple Cox is a new acquaintance, try associating her with a fox resting under a maple tree - that is, if Maple has a relaxed personality. Otherwise, you might the fox jumping into the tree. The sillier or more unusual your image, the more likely you are to retain it.

Treat your support staff and peers with respect; give them encouragement and rewards for a job well done, and they will try even harder the next time. Seek your staff's advice and admit your own limitations. Be specific about your needs, and follow up with a compliment, a thank-you note, or a phone call. Those who help you will be pleased that you recognized and valued their skills.

A word of caution: be sincere in your interactions. Don't use people or flatter them just to grease the wheels of your career. Most people can spot a phony. Don't you be one. Self-centered managers often fee stymied in their careers. Why? Because their co-workers throw stumbling blocks in their path. When you're being considered for promotion, your co-workers will be asked their opinion of your work and character. That's when any selfishness or insensitivity will come back to haunt you.

There are many pros and cons to having an employment contract. Generally it is thought that candidates should not ask for an employment contract unless they have special circumstances regarding their compensation package. Most agreements can be in writing in the form of an offer letter that covers a candidate's concerns such as severance pay.

The problem with an employment contract is that it delays the hiring process and often complicates the hire to the point of jeopardizing it. Contracts will involve lawyers, and lawyers will dig up the worst case scenarios that cause both parties to give concessions only if they get an equivalent return such as one year's severance pay for three year's non-compete and trade secret confidentiality. Some contracts will guarantee certain bonus pay from an employer in exchange for candidate reimbursement of relocation costs should the candidate leave before the first 12 months of employment. The battle over details often causes both parties to become adversarial and this is no way to begin an employer/employee relationship. They are always double-edged swords and need to be dealt with very carefully if at all.

Try to add into your offer any issues you would like to address in an employment contract. If your goal from an employment contract is to have severance pay should you be terminated for anything other than illegal acts or blatant negligence, then request severance pay to be added to your letter of employment. (Severance pay is sometimes offered to managers and executives, and ranges between three months and twelve months, with four months being the average.) If you want a "golden parachute" than expect "golden handcuffs" in return.

Almost all large or national employers require applicants to take a drug test and yes it is legal. In fact many of the smaller employers require it as well. If you want to work for a company that does not require a drug test, ask before the interview if they require a drug test. Some tests can determine drug use up to a year prior to being tested.

If you have taken any drugs prior to being tested, it is a good idea to tell the employer that you did use the substance but do not use it any longer. You might also suggest that you would be willing to be re-tested periodically if required.

Employers too often have little to go on but a first impression and a few references when making an employment decision. There is also the rising cost of hiring and turnover. Consequently many of today's employers are turning to psychological and pre-employment testing to help them better evaluate candidates. There are many types of testing such as skill tests, integrity tests, personality tests, aptitude tests and interests tests. Tests can also take the form of job applications, job interviews, credit checks, reference checks and drug tests. Some tests require interviews with licensed psychologists, but most are administered at the employer's office by someone in human resources.

Most tests attempt to compare candidate personality and interests to predetermined profiles submitted by the employer for specific job roles. However some tests go to greater length to identify candidate intelligence or aptitude, if a candidate has personal problems going on in his or her life, nonconformists, candidates with authority or hostility problems, and a host of other qualities that could pose a problem to the employer.

Few candidates like taking tests. But refusing to take the test means refusing to be considered for the position.

Is there a way to beat the test? Some tests are possible to beat. The key is to have performed sufficient research on the company and the job position so that you have a good idea of how the "right" or ideal candidate will answer the questions. Always try to answer positively, and show confidence by rating yourself higher than you honestly feel you are. You should also make yourself appear happy and stable.

Most people do not like the idea of being tested. However the good news about testing is that candidates should want to work with a firm that is willing to invest money and time to find the best and brightest talent. Testing also ensures standardization creating a level playing field where all candidates are treated equally.

You might try to learn what type of testing there will be beforehand. Ask how the test is relevant to the job.

Always be prepared to support your claims in your resume or in the interview with quality references. It's important to collect letters of accommodation whenever you perform well on a task so that your success gets documented. Make copies of your achievements and awards, and solicit written references whenever you leave an employer. References should come from previous managers, suppliers and customers. Employers look at business references, but will sometimes consider a personal reference if it is from a recognized leader.

Before submitting references to a potential employer, make sure to contact your references and prepare them for the employer's contact. Stress the skills that the employer will be looking for in the reference so they can be prepared.

The previous information is written and copyrighted by Frederick C. Hornberger, Jr., president of Hornberger Management Company, a national board and executive search firm specializing in the construction industry. This information is provided for personal use only. It may not be copied, printed or distributed to anyone other than you the reader, for any reason without permission from the author. Contact the author at address One Commerce Center, #747, Wilmington, Delaware 19801, phone 302-573-2541, email [email protected], or through the company web site at www.hmc.com.